Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
