Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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