I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
