white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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