That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
As shirtless as possible
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
She needs sedatives and a leash
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
