Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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