just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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