I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
