nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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