I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
