I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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