Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize