i barfeds in our rink
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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