we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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