is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Farmville is her only friend.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
