she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize
