i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
