I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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