I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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