Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
