anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
