Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
