I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
