Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
