i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
