also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
