pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
i think i just lost a toe
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
