Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
As shirtless as possible
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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