My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
