Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
