just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
