My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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