someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
