Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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