I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
