i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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