I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
