So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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