I heard we made out
More tranny stories later!
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
