yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
