Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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