Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I fill condoms, not promises.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
