He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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