He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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