If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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