Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
