i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
