the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
