somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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