i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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