Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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