I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
