woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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