I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
