she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Swine flu is the new snow day.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
