All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
