I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
