my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
